It’s been depressing as hell lately. It’s been raining like crazy and everything looks grey. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy the rain either sometimes it brings me peace, but it’s been too much. Or maybe not. I’d rather be sad in a sad setting than be sad on a sunny ass day. I can’t even see the night sky, it has just been thundering and cloudy, making the ground look almost like glass. But not all rain hits the ground, according to Reader’s Digest “”In dry, hot places, rain sometimes evaporates before it hits the ground. Environmentalist Edward Abbey describes “phantom rain” this way: “You see curtains of rain dangling in the sky while the living things wither below for want of water. Torture by tantalizing, hope without fulfillment. Then the clouds dissipate into nothingness.”” Whoever that Abbey dude is, really talking facts, in a really deep way, who hurt his/her feelings? Is he/she talking about rain still? He’s/she’s probably thinking about someone that hurt them. But in all honesty I love making connections like that, and I bet a lot of people do it too. Rain is depressing as hell, and it can make people feel sad. The sun is connected to out happiness because it is so bright. But what if someone can’t see the sun? Are they forever deeply sad? We all see things differently, and what if the sun I see is not the same sun you see? Obviously the rain we don’t all see the same, I believe that it has to do with what you are feeling inside. Like I said, for me it looks depressing, makes you want to roll yourself under the bed and disappear in the spider webs and dust bunnies under there. I looked it up and I guess its NOT just in people’s mind that they become depressed when rain pours down “Bad weather can indeed have a negative effect on your emotions. According to one study, nearly 9 percent of people fall into the “rain haters” category.” (WebMD)

That’s it. There’s nothing new, just rain. I can’t look at the sky, I mean I could but no one wants acid rain in their eyes. Therefore I can’t seem of anything to write about, I miss the stars. The end.

I put into my Google search engine- “Why is the sky blue?”, and of course I had to go through a lot of articles of why the sky appears blue and the science behind it. I scrolled through about 15 articles before finding what I was looking for- the psychology and the philosophy of the question. The article that I found isn’t really an article, it is a post answering the question “Is the sky blue?”, a post that someone named Leonardo made. What really intrigued me about his post was the way he explained things, the site in which he posted his thoughts may not be the most relevant or trustworthy but what he said really made me think. He points out that most of us, a large percentage of the population, will agree that the sky is blue, BUT we do that only because when we look up that is what we see and we do it to “satisfy ourselves of the truth of our answer”. We are lazy human beings, and we will always believe what we are told.  But we always have to question everything because everyone lies, everything that we know may or may not be a lie. “The sky is blue” is true – in the linguistic sense – but it is not true in actuality. It is not knowledge even though we state it as fact, because there is no “sky” – just the illusion of it.” (Leonardo)

I also googled the question “Why should we question everything?”. For this question it was easier to find what I was looking for. I found an article titled Why We Should Question Everything Around Us “What most people fail to realize is that a lot of what we do, learn, and actively participate in society is all based off of bias and another individual’s perception of what the world needs or how it should be.” (The Odyssey Online). A lot of people don’t want to questions things, for the simple fact that people WANT to believe what they want and what seems right, and that’s sad.

 

Goals. I don’t know. I’m usually the type of person to procrastinate so damn much and  I don’t get things done at all. For example when I get home, before I get home I should say, I make a mental list of small goals I need to do that same day or the next, maybe even that week. In reality, I lay in bed, looking at memes, procrastinating like there’s no tomorrow. Since I am writing them down maybe it will help but who knows, I will probably end up forgetting where I wrote them down. Anyways, my first goal for this week is to take advantage of the free time I have, every time I have a free hour I use it to nap or lay down and be on my phone, or I just space off and start contemplating life. Just like how I am doing right now I can’t seem to concentrate on writing anything, I keep thinking about how it would be like to not space off. I need to stop spacing off so much, is to clean my room and my car and throw away all the trash I hoard. Hopefully all of that happens, because my life is a mess.

The sky is constantly changing and I like to believe that everyday it is a different sky we look at. After a storm passes by, the sky looks bipolar. You could be driving down a street after a storm, as you look at your rear view mirror you could see a beautiful yellow sunset and could also see the most demonic looking clouds in front of you. Something that is intriguing is the lightning, it’s a scary thing to look at, but at the same time, so beautiful. According to National Geographic, “Lightning is not only spectacular,  it’s dangerous.” and many people are killed by lightning every year. It makes you wonder, how can something so beautiful hurt you so much. If you look closely at lightning, and if you see how it makes the sky light up, it makes you wonder how it can do that, and how they look like veins on a person. Maybe they are veins, veins of somebody or something. Lightning also represents various things, I’ve been lied to and I’ve been told that lightning and thunder are God’s ways of showing his emotions, thunder was him walking back and forth stomping because he’s mad at us. Lightning was him just lighting up in anger, rain was him crying. Who knows?..

Summer Thoughts

I don’t want to say that I had the best summer ever, but I had a good summer. Mostly I spent my days laying in bed staring at my popcorn ceiling, and spacing off. I can even still see myself, laying in my pajamas with a blank stare, fan on the highest setting, and my music blasting aesthetic ass music. I can still feel the back of my big ass head sweating because of the huge amount of hair I have, the slow drops of sweats rolling down my forehead. I can’t really tell you what I was thinking of, probably contemplating life, or wondering what the end of the world would look like. If I had to describe what my summer looked like that would be it. If the word “thought” had a picture next to it in the dictionary, that would be it. I want to say that being alone can be one of the most beautiful and destructive things in the world. A person needs to learn how to be alone in this world, you can have all the friends and company in the world, but if when the AM’s roll around, and you can’t be alone with your own thought, then I don’t know, you should not be considered human. Also, a person needs to learn how to not be alone, psychology says that us humans want to fit in, that we depend on being loved and accepted to be truly happy.

Let me go into detail on what I think about, I sometimes think about the whole world and I ask the important questions. You know? Those good ass important ass questions. What if out of nowhere humans just vanished? What if an asteroid hit us right now? What fucking if? I also think about my personal life. What am I doing with my life? What if I died? What would’ve happened if I had dated my crush back from the fifth grade? Am I okay? Oh my gosh, don’t let me start on the afterlife and the paranormal. Is there heaven and hell? Is there a ghost watching me? Does the devil exist? Are there extraterrestrial beings watching us right now? And sometimes I think about the most random things ever. I don’t know I’m weird, but yeah the whole point is that I was overthinking unnecessary things this summer, and probably every single summer of my life.  

 

The best writing experiences I had was during my junior year. I’ve had to write some essays for competitions for  iJAG, I used my essays to compete against other students around the state. and within those essays I had to write about my life story. I’m not saying I have the best life, but it is interesting writing about yourself, I feel like I got to know myself a little better. Also, I wrote some really great essays and stories during my U.S. Lit class. I usually procrastinate when it comes to writing, and having prompts and due dates helped me get back on track with my writing. I started to have a passion for writing when I learned how beautiful I could piece words together, I’ll give an example from one of my stories, which by the way is a cheesy romantic story: “His eyes looked like chocolate, deep dark, beautifully brown, they looked like the expensive chocolates my father brought be from Francia, I could almost eat his eyes.” Also, I learned that since my essays are sometimes way too passionate, I seem to curse so much in them. I don’t think I’ve had bad experiences, the only thing I don’t write is poetry, but with anything else, I am comfortable. Oh wait no, if I am not given time to write essays or stories, they end up not being all that great, but you know what, diamonds are made under pressure. Having said that, I want to learn how to get in my zone, and to not be so anxious because not everything is perfect.  I’d also like to learn how to use different words within my essays, I feel like I repeat myself a lot, and I would like to get my ideas on writing without so much repetition, even if that means having to study a dictionary. Also I seem to be speaking directly to my reader when I write, I am not to sure if that is a good or bad thing, I don’t know, anyways I’d like to really know what good and bad things I am doing when I write. I mean overall, I want to say that I want to improve my writing so when I don’t know what to write, or I am struggling when I am writing, I want to be able to help myself, and have the knowledge it takes to write better, stronger essays and stories.

My topic for blogging will be the sky, I am always very observant and I enjoy looking at the sky. It is a very relaxing thing to do for me, and it calms my anxiety. I will also be writing about the moon and sun, I know a beautiful mythological story about them so I’ll be sharing that story in my own words and possibly add to it. I also love drawing and painting the night sky so I might share some of my techniques(the colors I used, the medium) and I will share some of my works of art and share my thought process. There are also some Mexican beliefs that my parents and family members have told me about eclipses so I will possibly be sharing those. I also love Greek mythology and I found a website with descriptions about gods and goddesses I’m also hoping to write about events that will be going on and I am hoping to constantly look at a calendar for events, I will e using different websites linked below. I will also share day to day descriptions of the sky, I’ll just look up and describe what is going through my mind and what I am looking at. One day I will also talk about why I love the sky so much, I feel as if the sky is the same one everyone is looking at, and someone that was close to me passed away and everyone always told me he was one of those stars. So sometimes it feels like somebody’s watching down over us. The stars and constellations always are a good thing to talk about too, and horoscopes and astrological signs and all those things people believe in. I will talk about the references between the sky and heaven, and the ground and hell, I’m not religious but that always intrigued me. 

https://in-the-sky.org/

http://www.theoi.com/greek-mythology/sky-gods.html

http://www.seasky.org/astronomy/astronomy-calendar-current.html